- victor hugo
so, it's been a while since i've blogged... been a while since i've updated anything (was meaning to do one of those obligatory updates, but i never really got around to do it). so how's about i start with a mini-update and then blog more about what's been on my mind.
what i've been up to: softball, softball and more softball. it's been good actually being able to go practices and what not, and just spend time with the team. i'm really loving the lions... it's a different feel and a different environment from lumas, and well the entire junior division as a whole, but it's definitely a team that loves one another. and i'm grateful to be on a team that has such great chemistry and camaraderie. as willi would say... love me the lions. :D
aside from softball, been working at mitchells as usual.. not as many shifts as i'd like, but i'll take what i get. the search for another job has pretty much ceased and i'm just waiting, praying, and seeing what'll come of tuition when september rolls around. trying not to worry about it, cuz somehow, some way, God's gonna help me out with this and take care of it.
been spending more time with mmbop which has definitely been an unexpected surprise. seeing where we started back in september, i never thought this group would come to be where we are at this point in time. it's great to get together and share and eat and just BE in each other's presence. granted we're probably still not at the same level of depth as some of the other titus small groups, but to each their own... and each group is indeed different... and while we're not DEEP deep as some people put it at the beginning of the school year, we certainly have come quite a ways in terms of getting to know one another, and getting closer to one another. here's hoping and praying that God would continue to strengthen our relationships with one another and build unity within our group.
and i guess in between small group, work, softball, and church, been trying to find more intentional time to spend with people... catching up, updating, and just hanging out before september comes and we're knee-deep in school work again. think that's pretty much all i've been up to. seems like quite the uneventful, and yet somehow, my days are quite the packed and i'm rarely home on evenings cuz of all the things that are going on... strange, eh?
alright. so now that the obligatory update's done... onto other things. the quote that i have placed up top has been something that's kinda stuck with me since i first read it. now don't think i'm all sappy and stuff thinking all romance all the time (i know i can be a sap... but not this time! honest! :P) anyhow.. continuing on... just came back from etcbc's summer sojourn, and i must say that it was quite the different from last year. it was more church-focused and less self-focused. and yet in the midst of all the discussions about the church and unity within the church and its three (actually 4 when you count the children) congregations, i've come to a greater appreciation of the things that God has done and is doing in my life. it's probably not a coincidence considering the theme for the retreat was where have you come from and where are you going... :)
anyhow.. in the past year and a half that i've been part of this church, i can honestly say that i feel as though i've grown ten-fold. and while i'm aware that i've come quite a distance since first starting out at the church, i'm also aware that there's still miles to go and much to change/mold/improve/etc. and i think the biggest thing that i was really made aware of this past weekend is how much people seek community... how much people seek love. now i could go into how the aforementioned quote relates to God and how He loves us unconditionally, flaws and all, but i think that's too easy of a connection to make... too obvious of one. :) so bear with me as i attempt to delve elsewhere.
in realizing this inconsolable need people have (including myself) i came to the realization that if there's anything that i've gained in coming to east toronto, it's just that: love. right when i first stepped into titus fellowship, i knew there was something different... you could really sense the genuine love that people had for one another... and that's perhaps the reason that i continued to come back, despite being part of a different church and despite saying that i was only gonna drop by once to see people i knew and what not.
fast forwarding to my decision to actually start attending regularly... being taken care of and in a sense watched over by the pastoral staff as well as some of the young adults that i got to know really demonstrated a love to me that was unexpected.
fast forwarding even more to a year ago at last year's drama-filled summer conference.... i'm kinda grateful for all the drama that went on, cuz it really forced me to open up to some of the girls and forced me to be vulnerable with them, as there really wasn't anyone else that i could turn to (all my other close girls were back at cecc). and in taking that step and risking myself, laying all on the table, i gained precious and priceless relationships that i wouldn't trade for the world... had i a chance to do it again, i wouldn't have changed a thing, cuz it was all that soap-opera-ish drama that developed these relationships.
continuing on to the trip to nicaragua, getting to know some of the YAFers that were on the trip better and coming back and getting mentored are all blessings beyond belief. even this weekend, just getting to sit with some of the married YAFs and getting to talk to some of them, i'm grateful to be able to go to these people and talk to them like older siblings in Christ.
in realizing all these events that have unfolded in the past year and a half, i've not only come to realize how much i've grown... how much i've changed... how much i've been stretched and challenged... but i've come to really truly appreciate and rejoice in being loved. as i've gotten to know people better and gotten closer to a plethora of brothers and sisters at ET... as i've opened up myself and made myself more vulnerable, revealing my failures, flaws, sins, insecurities, and everything in between... i'm humbled to be so loved by so many. that despite knowing all these things about me that perhaps some people that i grew up with don't even know... they still love me, they still encourage me, they still spur me on to be someone better... to be who God wants me to be. i'm really awe-struck at God's provision and love that He's demonstrated through the events of the past year and a half or so... furthermore, i'm excited to see what the next couple of pages in this story that He's writing are gonna entail.
enough of a rant. if anything perhaps we should continue to take more time to reflect... to see where we've come from... where God's brought us, and perhaps start anticipating and discerning where God is leading next. :)